What to do when you can’t say goodbye to old patterns?

Sometimes there are cases when the client, after working through the problem, returns with the same request, or rather, the fact that he fails to change his behavior to a more rational, healthy, suitable one.

The problem becomes that the client, for example, has triggers, stressful situations in his life that can serve as a trigger for the past destructive prejudice that provokes action. More precisely, it works like this: 1. a trigger event, for example, dismissal, health problems, etc. 2. mood deterioration 3. destructive thinking, rumination. 4. destructive, old behavior. However, our life always has unpredictable, unpleasant situations from time to time, the point is not to plunge headlong into them.

It can also be a natural tendency to the comfort zone, because what gives us hormones of happiness, a quick result, seems simpler and more effective, but in the long run it doesn’t work like that. Why do destructive patterns of behavior become characteristic of an individual much faster and easier? And again, because we are constantly triggered by something, no matter what it is. It’s much easier to express your aggression after a job you don’t like at home than to get a new job. It is easier to deal with stagnation regarding one’s financial failure in adulthood than to start with separation from parents. But the icing on the cake is a very clear example: let’s take our phone, it is always at hand, everyone knows about its consequences and how easy it is to get stuck there, but we so easily fall into dependence on it. Because in order to start exercising, you already need to change clothes, find a suitable space, strain your muscles, and the dopamine is not as bright as from watching Tik Tok. But in all of these cases, a matter of perspective, each of your bad habits or behavior patterns will have consequences. Agree, changes in our thinking or physical training do not become noticeable in a week, it can work for years, but when we already face it, it will be after the fact. And it is up to us to choose the fruits of which thinking and choices we will reap in the future.

Also, the reason for choosing destructive behaviors and prejudices is that they have worked before. That is, you already have a working scheme that works. But then we should return to the previous paragraph and ask ourselves the question: “What kind of behavior do I want to reap in the future?”

How to resist your learned destructive thinking? In order to get rid of old habits, you need to find new ones to replace them. Fill that time you were wasting with something new. To do this, you need to set a realistic goal and understand your motivation for it, not something imposed by the environment or anxious thoughts. When you start taking the very first steps, you can make a video for yourself, for the future, where you can voice why you decided to change your “path”, what goal you are going for, what you need for this, how this new pattern is more profitable, etc. . This video is for yourself, for when your motivation wanes and you want to go back to the old ways. You can use this technique as much as you want and watch the video whenever you want.

Changing destructive patterns of behavior can become a reality for anyone who is ready to give it attention and effort. Remember that every step you take towards healthy behavior brings you closer to a happier and more fulfilled life. Don’t be afraid of change and support that can help you achieve your goals.

Trust the Process!

– Iryna Wood , Relationship Specialist with Astrological Expertise