Experiencing divorce

Recently, I was approached by a client who is planning a divorce from her husband, with whom she had been married for a year, and her request was ecological living of the emotions of a breakup.

The reason for the gap was a feeling of discrepancy between expectations and reality, which arose as a result of a lack of transparent communication and mutual understanding between partners.

The client is confident in her decision, but the mediation process and the time for reflection set by the court are ahead. In order to make the psycho-emotional state as stable and comfortable as possible during such a period, we had the goal of developing a plan for living our emotions.

First, understanding that a breakup is painful, we set aside time for sadness, aggression, and frustration at the same times every day. The phenomenon consists in the fact that at first, an hour a day will seem meager, but later, you will feel that there is no interest in it at all.

Second, if you’re worried about the shared photo cards, you can give yourself a chance to look at them for a couple of days, but then delete them so they don’t act as a trigger for you.

Thirdly, if you have not yet used the Deckard Square technique, it is recommended that you try it. It will help you, when you will be visited by thoughts that maybe this is not the right decision and everything was not so bad. Its implementation consists in dividing the leaf into four sectors, i.e. squares. On the left – what will happen when you separate, and on the right – what if you continue to be married. Then, in each of the sides, you highlight the advantages and disadvantages of this or that solution.

You can also use a diary, where you write down the event that provoked strong negative emotions in you, followed by your thoughts and then your emotions. This will also help your brain not to focus on old pleasant feelings and give a distorting effect to the situation, but will return you to the sobriety of your mind and the rationality of your decision.

Fourth, add new experiences to your life, because our brain needs serotonin, dopamine and endorphins, if this need is not met, then our performance, sobriety of thinking and general condition will deteriorate. Turn to your hobbies, hobbies, and black box desires.

So, don’t forget about your body’s needs, treat yourself always with care and accept the fact that you made a brave right decision and don’t forget why and how you made it. For someone, something that you perceive as your own shortcomings will be unique features.